…until my wedding! BAH! March 1st not only kicks off my wedding month, but it also kicks off springtime in many places around the world. I, however, am not feeling spring’s warmth as of yet, but I know it’s coming. I can at least appreciate the fact that the sun is shining today and I heard birds chirping this morning. Although I can’t break out the short sleeves and flip-flops yet [without being judged to my very core by the angry people of DC], I’m still quite glad it’s March 1st. Before I get to the meat and potatoes of the post, I’m going to share some pretty spring inspired cakes made by the uber talented Jim Smeal of Charleston, SC.
Aren’t these cakes beautiful?
Now, I’ve gotten this question a lot, “Are you ready!?” And to answer it honestly, I’m not really. I don’t have a lot of extra things to do [besides magically losing 20 pounds], so my planning is nearly complete. But me? As a whole? I don’t feel ready. In fact, I feel like an emotional ticking time bomb about ready to explode. I haven’t written my vows, chosen the ceremony language OR written the text for the welcome packets. All seemingly easy tasks that should come straight from the heart. But, when I’m sitting down at my computer with full intentions to write my vows, I clam up and start crying. I know this is normal, trust me. But as a girl who writes two blogs, words aren’t foreign territory to me. And I am absolutely in love with my fiancée. So, shouldn’t writing why I plan to love him for the rest of my life until my dying day be a bit easier? I thought so.
I need a pretty cake break.
These cakes are honestly too pretty to eat! I just love the intense level of detail in each and every cake. A true artist at work! Now, back to the serious stuff.
I’m not scared to get married. I’m not a commitment phobe or someone utterly terrified with thought of marriage. In fact, my family has an incredible marriage track record, and so does E’s. Both of our parents and most of our aunts and uncles have been married for 30-40 years. I’m not scared we won’t make it. I just get down to the details that involve the most important part of the day and I lose it. I can plan the heck out of our reception and pick out every single detail, from our colors to the cake flavors. But the very thought of the ceremony language leaves me rocking in the fetal position. Maybe it’s because these “superficial” pieces of the wedding, like the color palette and flowers, aren’t as real as the rest of it. The cake matters, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the ceremony. So why am I losing my cool when it comes to what matters most?
Gah. I’m crying. Let’s move onto something MUCH more uplifting for the moment. Spring wedding inspiration board time!
I love the fresh and colorful flowers and the heavy use of pastels. Spring weddings are a perfect time to really get your hands dirty with pastel color palettes. I love the use of pale pink, pale yellow and aqua with hints of ivory and just a dash of champagne. A perfect set of colors for spring brides looking to really incorporate the season! I feel a bit better now, after having stared at gorgeous inspiration for a bit. But I must ask, have any other brides felt this way before?
I think, for me, the “superficial” details are easier to focus on because they don’t involve vulnerability. They don’t rely on blind faith and complete and utter trust. A marriage is hard and it takes work. I’m sort of scared that I won’t be any good at it. I’m scared I’m going to make a mistake or give up when things get really hard. I’m not good at wearing my heart on my sleeve. I’m not good at expressing my every feeling or my greatest fears in life. All I know is that the thought of losing E is just a little too much to bear. So how do I stop thinking so pessimistically? How do I learn to have a little more faith in me? [Insert cute cuppie cakes by Jim Smeal.]
I don’t really know, I just know I need to. I have to put full faith in myself and us. He’s not going to give up on me and I’m not going to give up on him. We are a strong and passionate team and if we love each other enough, it will have to work. We are meant to be together, I just know it. Strange, as I just admitted this, I suddenly thought of a million ways to say I love you in my vows. Maybe all I needed was to let it all out.
So thank you, for letting me 🙂