Exactly 23 Days…

…until my wedding! BAH! March 1st not only kicks off my wedding month, but it also kicks off springtime in many places around the world. I, however, am not feeling spring’s warmth as of yet, but I know it’s coming. I can at least appreciate the fact that the sun is shining today and I heard birds chirping this morning. Although I can’t break out the short sleeves and flip-flops yet [without being judged to my very core by the angry people of DC], I’m still quite glad it’s March 1st. Before I get to the meat and potatoes of the post, I’m going to share some pretty spring inspired cakes made by the uber talented Jim Smeal of Charleston, SC.

[Source for photos]

Aren’t these cakes beautiful?

Now, I’ve gotten this question a lot, “Are you ready!?” And to answer it honestly, I’m not really. I don’t have a lot of extra things to do [besides magically losing 20 pounds], so my planning is nearly complete. But me? As a whole? I don’t feel ready. In fact, I feel like an emotional ticking time bomb about ready to explode. I haven’t written my vows, chosen the ceremony language OR written the text for the welcome packets. All seemingly easy tasks that should come straight from the heart. But, when I’m sitting down at my computer with full intentions to write my vows, I clam up and start crying. I know this is normal, trust me. But as a girl who writes two blogs, words aren’t foreign territory to me. And I am absolutely in love with my fiancée. So, shouldn’t writing why I plan to love him for the rest of my life until my dying day be a bit easier? I thought so.

I need a pretty cake break.

[Source for photos]

These cakes are honestly too pretty to eat! I just love the intense level of detail in each and every cake. A true artist at work! Now, back to the serious stuff.

I’m not scared to get married. I’m not a commitment phobe or someone utterly terrified with thought of marriage. In fact, my family has an incredible marriage track record, and so does E’s. Both of our parents and most of our aunts and uncles have been married for 30-40 years. I’m not scared we won’t make it. I just get down to the details that involve the most important part of the day and I lose it. I can plan the heck out of our reception and pick out every single detail, from our colors to the cake flavors. But the very thought of the ceremony language leaves me rocking in the fetal position. Maybe it’s because these “superficial” pieces of the wedding, like the color palette and flowers, aren’t as real as the rest of it. The cake matters, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t matter nearly as much as the ceremony. So why am I losing my cool when it comes to what matters most?

Gah. I’m crying. Let’s move onto something MUCH more uplifting for the moment. Spring wedding inspiration board time!

A Wedding in the Springtime

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6]

I love the fresh and colorful flowers and the heavy use of pastels. Spring weddings are a perfect time to really get your hands dirty with pastel color palettes. I love the use of pale pink, pale yellow and aqua with hints of ivory and just a dash of champagne. A perfect set of colors for spring brides looking to really incorporate the season! I feel a bit better now, after having stared at gorgeous inspiration for a bit. But I must ask, have any other brides felt this way before?

I think, for me, the “superficial” details are easier to focus on because they don’t involve vulnerability. They don’t rely on blind faith and complete and utter trust. A marriage is hard and it takes work. I’m sort of scared that I won’t be any good at it. I’m scared I’m going to make a mistake or give up when things get really hard. I’m not good at wearing my heart on my sleeve. I’m not good at expressing my every feeling or my greatest fears in life. All I know is that the thought of losing E is just a little too much to bear. So how do I stop thinking so pessimistically? How do I learn to have a little more faith in me? [Insert cute cuppie cakes by Jim Smeal.]

I don’t really know, I just know I need to. I have to put full faith in myself and us. He’s not going to give up on me and I’m not going to give up on him. We are a strong and passionate team and if we love each other enough, it will have to work. We are meant to be together, I just know it. Strange, as I just admitted this, I suddenly thought of a million ways to say I love you in my vows. Maybe all I needed was to let it all out.

So thank you, for letting me 🙂

Advertisements

9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

9 responses to “Exactly 23 Days…

  1. I was just about to say.. it sounds like you found inspiration for your ceremony and your vows just by letting it all out, getting all those thoughts out into the open.

    I think you’re absolutely right about why you are focusing so much on the details and are putting off the ceremony portion – the latter is the most important part of the day, and you want it to be perfect. And it’s not something so tangible as a color, a dress, a cake flavor.. they will be the words that will bring you from being engaged to being married. Of course you’re sweating it! But I’m sure you will come out with something absolutely spectacular – a lot of what you wrote here is really touching and beautiful.

    Sending good thoughts your way!

  2. jen

    It’s normal to feel nervous and anxious so close to your wedding! Writing our ceremony and programs was tough for me, too, but I promise that it all works out in the end. Take a deep breath and write from your heart. You’ll be amazed at How easily the words pour out 🙂

  3. When I got married the first time I knew something was wrong and I somehow knew it was a mistake but went through it anyway. A short 8 months later, we split. Looking back, I wish I was smart enough to have paid attention to my instincts. I was devastated at the time but as they say, hindsight is 20/20.

    A month before my now husband and I married I was unusually calm. Everything felt right and I knew it would all come together with minimal effort. Some things I got a little paranoid about (Were our photographers going to show up on time? What about the cupcakes? Who was going to help us decorate?) but thanks to my husband’s ability to be calm it went off without a hitch.

    We got married on an old-fashioned train on a beautiful October day last year and we had a blast.

    I wish you the best of luck. As Steph said it seems like getting your thoughts out has really helped you figure out what to write. You’ll be fine. =) Congrats on your upcoming marriage! It’s a wonderful thing when you have the right one.

  4. totally normal, and you can bet the emotional rollercoaster will continue up to the big day. but it’s the best rollercoaster you’ll ever ride 🙂

  5. First- those are gorgeous cakes! Second- Happy Wedding Month!! It is totally normal to feel like a basket case! Truth be told, my mom pretty much wrote our vows. She did an amazing job and captured “us” perfectly. There was no way we were writing our own as that would have been Kyle’s worst nightmare! Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, to make it easier maybe try writing your vows as if you were writing a letter to Elliot and then slowly take pieces of that and transition it into vows. Either way, you’ll get everything done and it will be beautiful!

  6. What a great post and so well written… and brave for putting it out there. I’m pretty confident with your way with words you won’t have any problem when it comes to getting those vows out and they will be heartfelt and meaningful. Wow less than a month to go… that’s come around so quickly!

  7. I’m sure everything will come together perfectly for the wedding 🙂 And those cakes are making me hungry!

  8. Ah Claire – you are just fabulous you know that! You are being real and honest with your feelings…and while you might not wear them on your sleeve, you do know what you feel and can put it out there! This is one of the rides of your life…up until the big day. It is absolutely normal to feel this way! And yes, sometimes leaving the most important and best for last is really a good thing…as now that all the details are in place you can focus on how you feel and what really matters most about your wedding – the ceremony and the love that you two share! You are being so REALISTIC (which is why your blog name is so fitting) that it is work, sometimes hard, but at the end of the day it’s E that you want to go through it with – no one else!!! You are going to be an AMAZING wife! Really no one knows how to do it any better than you – because you are the one that knows E the best!!! I am so thrilled, excited and happy for you. You have a wonderful way with words, and there is no doubt in my mind that you will find the perfect ones to say!!! And P.S. – LOVE this post!!!

    xoxo
    kristi

  9. Babe… You have the right words and you will find the way to say to E how much you love him and how wonderful and complete he makes you feel!
    I can only say: enjoy the last few days, enjoy the planning of the details… It is stressful yet fun.
    And let your heart speak when it comes to the ‘words’… You will never ever fail if you let your heart speak.

    Know that many people around love you and know you will be the most beautiful of brides. I know I do!

    Steph x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s