The Top 5 Things I’ve Learned Planning My Wedding

I seriously love this cartoon. I’ve used it before, but there’s just not a better picture for this article! [Via]

As our wedding nears closer, I have found myself taking a step back from the chaos to analyze these past 10 months since my engagement. Although they have been some of the best months of my life, they sure as H have not been the easiest. I’ve learned valuable lessons about the industry, stress levels, relinquishing control, self esteem, budgets and having faith in others. But most importantly, I’ve learned some beautiful and not so beautiful things about myself and my relationship. Here are the most important takeaways I’ve learned while planning my dream wedding. I hope these help other frazzled bride to bes find harmony in a very tumultuous time!

  • It won’t last forever. Even if you are a bride who plans to go into full time wedding coordination, planning YOUR wedding comes with a whole new set of stresses and triggers that you won’t have planning other people’s weddings. Although 90% of this planning has been absolutely amazing, I’m in the 10% where I’m literally at my wits end. What keeps me sane is knowing that in 2 short months, my wedding planning will be over with. The event will be here and over in the blink of an eye. And then I’m done. It’ll be incredibly bittersweet, trust me. I’ve really gotten attached to the planning process. But I’m also looking forward to having free time again, a level head and some pocket change too.

You will be a beautiful bride and your event will be gorgeous, remember that! [Via]

  • No matter what your budget, it will be beautiful. I’m blessed to have an amazing family who is allowing my wedding to be my absolute dream. A dream wedding does not come with a small price-tag though, friends. Even though I have an ample budget, I still face financial issues EVERY SINGLE DAY. There are so many things I’ve had to cut out and not even think about because it’s just not realistic. This is heartbreaking, especially when you are constantly connected to gorgeous websites that feature real life weddings that seemingly have it all. Even though I can’t have it all, my wedding will still be absolutely beautiful because it’s mine. Whether you are working with a $5k or $50k budget, your wedding will be beautiful because it’s reflective of who you are, as a person and a couple. And I’d be hard pressed to find someone who says true love isn’t beautiful!
  • This event is a blank canvas so close your eyes and paint! Going into wedding planning, you are going to feel incredibly overwhelmed. There is SO MUCH inspiration out there for every single type of affair, from Victorian vintage to backyard BBQ. When I first started, I literally almost cried because of how much there was and how little I knew. So how did I figure it all out? Closed my eyes and envisioned what I wanted it to look like. I have an “old soul” and I’m a serious sucker for history, antiques and 1930’s fashion. So I allowed my mind to paint a picture with my perfect wedding and slowly, but surely, the pieces started to come together. It didn’t happen overnight, but it happened. Your wedding is your chance to showcase who you are, who your fiancée is and what makes both of you happy. Don’t have a vintage/modern/rustic wedding because websites say to. Be you and let your wedding reflect that!

There will be times you’ll want to rip your hair out, just plan for them and move on! [Via]

  • It’s not all rainbows and butterflies. If planning your wedding has been perfect 100% of the time, I’ll argue you aren’t doing it right. Nothing is perfect, no one is perfect and no relationship is perfect. You have to go into wedding planning KNOWING something will go wrong. I’m not being pessimistic, I’m being realistic. This piece of advice was passed down to me by my best friend who is recently married. This is an event that is not only costing thousands of dollars, but is also an incredibly emotional time. No matter how hard you try, something inevitably always goes wrong. Luckily for many brides, these mishaps are only seen to their eyes and the people attending have no idea. Whether your dream date is taken, you have to let go of a vendor, you hate the food provided by your caterer, the cake turned out all wrong, you leave something at home, the flowers are ugly or even you spill on your dress before the ceremony, things happen. And as a bride, you are allowed to be upset about anything that goes wrong. After the tears are shed and the expletives shouted, you gotta get up and move on.

This is what it’s all about, the handsome groom and me!

  • The most important thing is your relationship, first and foremost. When you let the wedding get bigger than Big [to quote Carrie Bradshaw], you forget what the day is really about, you and your fiancee!! Wedding planning can take over and every little detail can consume you, leaving you little time left to spend with the one you are marrying. Less alone time + more stress leave your relationship a breeding ground to bickering, fights and meltdowns. I’m struggling with this, right now. I’m completely overwhelmed and keep losing sight of what really matters, the love I have for my hubby to be. A wedding is a party but the point of it is to celebrate your love and bring you both together for the rest of your lives. [If you’re lucky!] I want to be one of the lucky ones, so I’m really working on putting it all into perspective. What matters most is what the day is truly about, your love for each other.

Honestly, I feel so much better getting this all off my chest and I hope it helps other brides out there who are overwhelmed, stressed and losing sight of the important things!

Advertisements

10 Comments

Filed under Claire Elliot Wedding, Planning

10 responses to “The Top 5 Things I’ve Learned Planning My Wedding

  1. Thank you so much for sharing all of this! As someone who is about the just dive right in, it’s super helpful. I think the first three steps for me will be the hardest (picking a date, picking a venue/place and picking our wedding party). At first I was very stressed but now I’m getting really excited. I cannot wait to see what you planned in a few months. Congrats and enjoy your last few weeks of planning!

  2. Great post Claire.. and the last point.. you’re so right!! It’s about what happens each and every day after the wedding party, and if you’ve chosen the right person it only gets better and better!!

  3. thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this! xoxo

  4. That last point is probably the most important.

  5. Claire. This is it. This is the reality for everyone planning a wedding, or it has to be. I am 4 weeks away and I have had 90%-10% times as well…
    My biggest disappointment to date – not being able to fit videography into the budget.
    My biggest recent scare – that one of my best friends and bridesmaid may not actually be able to make it to the wedding.

    You get married for your fiance first. And you throw a party for the people around you. So it is stressful to find what makes you and your partner, and then you want to leave a lasting memory to the people you care the most about.

    But brides: you will! Free yourself from too much influences. Search within yourself what makes you as a couple and run into the sun with it.

    Great Post Claire. Amazing post even!

  6. I totally agree..the last point is the most important.

  7. Great post! Every thing you said is totally true. When I got close to the end I kept saying, “I just want it to be OVER.” You are right that it is completely bitter sweet. I loved planning and I really missed it initially but I am also glad it is over. I had planned so many little details, props for photos, and random decor things that never came to fruition on the big day. And like you said no one noticed. My only advice I’d give myself if I had to start over would be to soak it in and take more time to be with the hubby on the actual day and not worry so much about photos and decorations.

  8. Eli

    The last point is SO important to remember. We are less than 4 months out, and now TRULY realizing why every wedding planner has a budget line item for couples counseling. The fact is that without recognizing that last point, the smallest of normal reservations or ‘cold feet’ coupled with the fights can make it feel like you’re making a mistake. It’s so important to take a step back…and I’m so glad that you have been around for us to ‘compare notes’. It has really helped.

  9. Just found your blog. This is a great post, I can identify with everything you wrote. Looking forward to reading more.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s